I love my mum, she is literally the nicest person I have ever met (certainly the nicest person who ever gave birth to me), but when it comes to technology she knows about as much as I do about girls. Ie, enough to make it through about two minutes of polite conversation and then she just breaks down crying.

As a case in point, here she is a few months back trying to take a photo of me and my brother and sister.

1) Erm, at least wait for me to get in place. And get your finger off the lens!

2) WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

3) Wait…wait till we’re ready. Oh wait, Seb wants to kill himself.

4) Fine I’ll show you ho…NO! Don’t take another pointless photo!

5) Ok you’re just mucking around now.

6) Keep Seb away from the razors.

7) YES! No. Wait, that’s a movie.

8) Ok, here goes.. THAT’S A MOVIE AGAIN!

9) TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!

10) No, that’s dad.

11) Ok, we’re back to photo. STOP TAKING PHOTOS OF DAD!

12) OK WE GET IT, you like dad. Get a room or something.

13) YES! Finally! Wait, turn the flash off…

14) Oh Christ, we got there eventually.

After this ordeal Mum swore never to use an iPhone again and I swore never to go home again.

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